Messy Life

It was a roller coaster of a few years, so many people kept preaching to me that God would turn my mess into His message. They said surely God would put people in my path that needed to hear about my experiences. They said, God would use me in peoples' lives, use my story. Yet, it had been years and I still didn't feel like I had met that certain someone who needed to know my story. I didn't run into "that person" that everyone told me I would meet. Who would want to know my pain, know the process and know of the healing that came from Jesus. Nobody came.

I let that eat at me. How would God use my mess as His message if no one came? Sure, I've shared my testimony before but I still didn't feel like it was all that God had for me. I have volunteered with preteen and teenage girls, trying to speak truth into their lives, encouraging them and being someone they can talk to. But the point of working with the youth is to listen to them, not spew your stuff on them. So still, I felt like I was not fully fulfilling the purpose of walking through all I did. I wanted to scream from the rooftops that God had healed me from some painful trauma and if He did it for me! He can do it for you! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH HIM! You can have freedom. But, eh, anymore, not many pay mind to captions on Instagram or Facebook posts exclaiming these things.

As I was driving today, I was thinking about some painful things I am currently walking through. I was getting a little beat down, thinking of how the pain train has been pretty constant for a lot of years. But then it dawned on me. When I was about to ask, "Is it even all worth it?" The answer hit me between the eyes. I had prayed for years for God to send me that ONE, the one who needed to hear my story, and whose life would change because of it. Yet, now, as an Author, God has sent me hundreds of ONES. Those who are reading the 'He Redeems' series, get to hear of God's faithfulness, and of how He redeems trauma. The characters in the book may not have the same exact trauma as me, (some do, and some are pretty darn close) but the books provide hope for people. They talk about the pain. My stories are not afraid to show the struggle. Struggles exist in real life, this is not a Hallmark world. But, this is a world where God takes care of His children. He brings beauty from ashes. He can restore, redeem and bring restoration to the painful parts of your story. Just like He does for my characters. Just like He has for me. These books may not be my personal testimonies written front to back, but they are the messages that God has put in my heart, messages that have come about out of my personal messes. And for that I am forever grateful.

So keep going, God is the God of the impossible. He can redeem your story. He is not done with you yet.

Hebrews 12:1-3, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

He is the author of your story. He has a race marked out for you. Give Him the pen. Trust Him with your story.

HW